State of Nats

State of Nats

The State of Nats #10: Smoke like a travel presenter

[Everything between October 19 and the day of publishing this]
Ha Noi, Vietnam

Data

Flights taken: 2

Books purchased: 3

Books read: 2

New timezones

At 1100 hrs

Today, I am essentially Anthony Bourdain. I am embodying a fake AI slop version of him, millennial, female, perpetually middle class minded, truth-spurting capsule of the sediments of my thoughts. I am a fish out of water, a woman on a mission. I am walking with a sardonic face and a matter-of-factly gait.

The only thing I lack is a cigarette. The only thing I miss is a cigarette.

To add to the general disrespect I have for my health, the pining for a cigarette is at its peak. I have never been a smoker yet crave it between my fingers as I walk in Ha Noi. It feels appropriate here, today, I want to be Bourdain. I want to seamlessly get along with locals, eat flavourful food and rationalise their politics against what I know of my own little world. I want to do things that read good in memoirs, yet leave no lasting impact on my being. I want to feel safe in wandering and taking chances. I want Tony's confidence.

{Incoming message: Sorry, we cannot check you in ahead of schedule.}

At 1200 hrs

I am also a woman with feminine disposition. So, I want a sexy French depression. I want a black dress and a frown for an accessory. A Chanel jacket, a Dior skirt (look at me, putting two rivals together). I want a je ne sais quoi quality. A cigarette while I wear sunglasses in the rain. I want to stroke a cat while I am at it. I want an old lady to approach me and offer me their grandson. I want to say no.

I want to make my version of a Bourdain travel ensemble. A cigarette between my fingers, a city under my feet. Noodles in my belly, a sustained blood alcohol level.

I am being vile, a non-smoker promoting smoking. Yet as an accessory it is the most appropriate. My choice to travel is made possible by only one method, turning hard earned money into ash. The selfishness of "I want to go there and see that and eat this and walk there" is actualised with my arrival in Ha Noi. I am here to consume a country, second time around, and revisit with more vigour than in 2017, when I came a humble and curious being. I have returned ravenous.

Only because I have been awake more of the last 36 hours, I am feeling triumph and fatigue. I want I want I want. I am here to take.

{Email Inbox: The job role you applied for and thought you were suited for is not going to be given to you. Sincerely, corporate.}

At 1300 hours

I am worthless, pathless, career-less, aimless, jobless, dedication-less, crumpled mess of a person. I do not want a cigarette, I AM a cigarette.

At 1355 hours

I am worthless, pathless, career-less, aimless, jobless, dedication-less, crumpled mess of a person. I want a shower.

At 1500 hours

I am hungry.


Culture consumption

I watched Steven Wilson perform live. And I had tears in my eyes when he played Pariah. This is the first concert I have attended with Ru, and it is valuable that was of his favourite musicians. Is any artist worth an evening of inhaling dust? Perhaps yes, when they are beloved by the person you love, and you have the stupid fever of making him happy.

Adventures in selling tickets

I sold three tickets to strangers in this concert. This endeavour was solitary, as the thoughtlessness of the original buyers led to a sunken investment of thousands. Recovery was essential. I used Reddit and Whatsapp to seek interested parties for the concert tickets. Here was the journey and a few noteworthy moments from this pursuit.

Once confirmed, and after some contemplation period, the sale process was often complete. People payed the advance, then showed up at the concert and paid the rest. Sweet kind people, rock fans, Steven fans. This was a very wholesome trade.

Additionally

I am reading Mother Mary Comes to Me by Arundhati Roy. Because of this trip, I am parted from the last 100 pages of the book. I finished listening to The House in the Cerulean Sea which was meh and cute at the same time. It is really The Housemaid that captured my imagination, and I devoured it within a day.

The film Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is a nearly-perfect film and has captured my attention. It was an easy watch on a frustrating day.

Pho-ya later
Nats


Other Writings
The concept of comment section is broken. If you have thoughts you'd like to share with me, try email.
Reply via email
Hey, I made this bread button below. Toast it, toast it now!